'King Can Do No Wrong'
Years, centuries and ages have passed but the male domination
and his unfading influence in our society have been so consistent
and ever existing that it lures me to be a MAN for once.
Since childhood, I've seen all men dominating from home to outside world. I feel this domination is the sole component which nourishes his male ego and swells his chauvinism. From Ramayan & Mahabharat to this present age, women are destined to go through ordeal like 'Sita' by their so called 'Ramas', to be staked like 'Draupadi' by their Pandavs. Men always reigned as Ravana & Kauravs, regardless of their misdeeds & notorious actions like lifting 'Sita' and uncovering of 'Draupadi'.The woman has long been the victim of male addictions like gambling and boozing and last but not the least physical, emotional & verbal abuse. Some are so cynical, sort of psychic personality that they in the name of 'love' behave violently with their women and then apologize. What does it show ? Needless to say - very simple - 'the power of man''.
I have seen even the weakest man suffering from male chauvinism. And above all, see the strange irony that males
are pampered usually & mostly by womenfolk only. Today in
21st century, which regarded to be the revolutionary age, a mother still prays to have the first child - a son and then a daughter, while the lesson of equal status of son and daughter is taught everyday. A sister cares for his brother, not only for the reason that she is loving by nature but also because of the bare fact that he is given extra attention & special status by the parents. I have seen girls keeping fast for their brothers but not a single boy who ever kept a fast for his sister. A son-in-law is adored by his in-laws unlike a daughter-in-law. A husband is served by his wife untiringly because since childhood, she learns that husband is that super human being who should be worshipped in all the circumstances irrespective of his bad conduct or ill behaviour till the last breath. It is a very lovely thing to nurture in a girl but on the other hand what a boy is taught. Is a woman's love estimated and weighed well & reciprocated properly by the menfolk ? Society's social justice is strange. Boundaries are set for female & male workfields. During the interviews, some employers refuse to accept that the girl candidates could be a successful engineers or police officers. In case they are selected, they are not given timely due promotions on the lame excuses of their being a female. As for example, recently our most committed and capable cop Kiran Bedi faced this discrimination. Girls, inspite of brilliant performance and calibre, are refused jobs in several fields. Preconceived notions make the things difficult for females in our society till today. Her being a woman becomes an obstacle in the path of her progress. Men think, a woman won't be able to perform with expected conviction and capability. Not only this, working women have been categorized in two parts and married women are paid less salary than unmarried women. In two income families, women shoulder the 85% burden of household chores. Mostly fathers are given the status of 'supreme authority' - while to be obedient to mother - is a matter of convenience for her children. A soft hearted mother is 'a thing of love and compassion'.
Women's performance, in every field is overlooked and only their 'looks & sexy curves' are noticed. The woman is easily reduced to as commodity rather than acknowledging her intellect. It is an indictment of a society that claims to worship its women. Only a few have a just mind & courage to speak in the favour of women. Otherwise men remain the little boys inside - longing to be pampered and served all the time.
Please don't judge this write - up by the little percentage of a few rights, after the struggle of so many years, given to women at some fronts which they are not allowed to avail most of the times - think of those 90% cases and ghastly truths that, either go unseen or unreported and are brushed up under the carpet.
No doubt, man has a very strong recognition from cradle to grave. So I want to go through that feeling of unabated supremacy. He enjoys heaps of respect and reverence at every front. Therefore only for once, I wish to relish that male status, want to experience that male chauvinism which makes him unreasonably relentless towards his devoted wife, heedless towards his children, uncaring and unthoughtful towards his mother. Of course, exceptions may be seen but how many ? I would like to devour that very special status, long existing domination, established by 'Manu'. I would like to feel the intoxicating currents of high reverence which he receives from every corner. How thrilling it would be - to be a 'MAN' who enjoys all the rights and treated like a king and 'can do no wrong ' despite his repeatedly done odd blunders
" Insecurity thy name is woman"
Today we have been living in 21st century. Much has been debated and done for women’s empowerment. But is she really empowered, safe and secure and has the right to live like a human being ? Last year the pathetic case of ' Elisabeth', an Austrian girl who was raped by her father for 24 years and the 16 year - old Gujurati girl, who was also raped by none other than but by her own father 'Kishore Chauhan' along with his 'black magician advisor, 'Hasmukh Rathod' for 9 years put a question mark at woman's security all over the world. Woman is not safe in any country, in any society, even in her own family, it's a shame and a matter of grave concern. Family is no more a secure place for innocent minors to live in unscared. You never know, when a father or uncle would attack a minor - girl out of their lusty whim and terrorize them to surrender whenever they wish to abuse them sexually.
Elisabeth (42) was 'sexually used like a toy' by her monster father ' Josef Fritzl' (72) for a long period of 24 years. That fiend fathered 7 children with her. Gujurati
businessman on the evil advice of black magician raped his teen age daughter to recover his financial losses and flourish his business. He forgot his prime duty of
bringing up her daughters in healthy, safe and secure surroundings. The greed of crass gains blinded him so thickly that in a long period of nine years he never got sensitive towards her traumatized daughter and his evil act.
Earlier a few years ago, teenage girl of well - off family was sexually abused for 4 years by her father. Her tale came to light by her drawings, depicting sexual abuse.
A 16 year old girl was raped by her father since she was 9. When her father began to eye her younger sister, the elder one dared to file a police complaint.
Lately, the case of 12 year old, motherless girl was in news. She also became
the victim of her father's lust and was not in a state to withstand a direct encounter with him. There was a chance of her withdrawing the rape charges under pressure. She was raped for over a month & went through horrified experience. When one day she went crying to her neighbour, she took her to police station. Then the Rape Crisis Cell (RCC) of Delhi Commission for women filed an application for the video conferencing in the case to bring forth the reality of the tormentor and got him punished.
The most loving and pious relationship of 'father and daughter' got tarnished by these monster fathers. Daughters share a special bond with their fathers and sons with their mothers. A father is supposed to be first man in her life - who loves her, cares for her, pampers her. She feels safe and secure when he is around. But today's devils in disguise have shattered the long nourished adorable image of a father. All the daughters on the earth can ever trust their fathers now after learning the evil acts of Austrian, Mira road , Mumbaikar and so many other fathers ? Nice fathers will also be eyed as ‘ fiends’, suspected for once due to these monsters. The chilling reality is so biting ! Pious relation of father and daughter is stained for ever.
Women are easy target in the age of 'women empowerment', how unfortunate
it is !!? Here I am reminded of other cases. A girl was victimized by her lover on his promise of marriage and was being raped. When he went back, she approached an NGO.
A young girl searching a job in Delhi, was raped by her neighbour. She got pregnant,
her parents beat up and punished her. Later on an NGO helped her.
Not long ago, abduction and rape of 36 year old Swiss diplomat near Siri Fort auditorium in Delhi, gangrape of a girl by her lover and 4 others at a city hotel on
New year's eve in Gujurat, rape of 3 months pregnant woman by autorickshaw driver along with two others who barged in when she took the rickshaw and drove to a secluded hillock, all these incidents send a chilling fear. How can a housewife, a college girl or a minor can feel secure when the policemen turn rapists.
I agree with Vrinda Karat - she said - " More women are killed or injured in sexual assault than through terrorism."
Walking through dark or crossing a secluded road and bridge, driving alone at night, commuting even during the day, sitting with friends in the park is fraught with danger now a days. Some miscreants try to tease and frighten a female by walking or driving slowly alongside and making lewd remarks, gesticulating, deriding and mocking, following on a bike or car, in busses rubbing against you. These things
are in rife and rise. Why ? Because the culprits know crippled law and supine
As long as the offenders are not punished hard pronto, reality can not change. Women, innocent girls are treated as sex objects. The victims of rape are mostly minors. The problem is getting acute. Sexual abuse is not confined to big cities but it is in rife in small towns and villages also. It is unfortunate that the small towns and village rape cases are under reported. Most of such cases are brushed up under the carpet as it would tarnish the family name or the girl will suffer and carry the stigma through out her life.
Unfortunately the story of evil act begins from home. Needless to say, it is ''most shameful'' when own family members who are supposed to protect their women and minors, ‘ incest them’, make them 'sex slave' like Elisabeth and dump them to breathe in trauma, depression, self guilt, impotent anger and helplessness. These monsters induce all sort of fears in the mind of victims like they will be rebuked and discarded by the family, they could be killed or abandoned as punishment, they will be mocked at in society, they will become an object of shame for ever and so on. And surrounded by these vicious fears victim keeps hiding the pain and surrendering to the tormentor.
Today no place in the society is safe for women and children. There are laws, criminal justice system, still the rape incidents are not curbed. Due to lack
of proper investigations, medical examination, long legal procedures, fear of becoming the target of everyone's eyes, even if wins the case, all this sort of anxiety compels the victim and its family to keep silent and that's why also many cases remain unreported. Due to social taboos and lack of proper legal procedure, 90% rape accused walk free.
How we can trust the legal system, when in 2002 some 133 policemen were tried for custodial rape and only 4 were convicted. In 2003 also out of a few pending cases, at the final stage, the accused walked free, none was punished. Many accused go in appeal to a higher court and in the end get off. Such an injustice and unfair attitude shatter the trust of people and boosts up the courage of devils.
The notion that rape cases occure as the victim invites the trouble itself, but it
is not true in all the cases. Dressing provocatively is not the only reason of rape incidents. Does a daughter or innocent child will ever invite their father or uncles to abuse them sexually? What about those modest girls who are dressed dignifiedly, but still get victimized by their own family men - bad fathers, bad uncles, and at work place boss and male colleagues are always eyeing them. What about that 5 and 7 year old girl who becomes the victim of neighbourhood uncle or any other acquaintance in the home ?
As I said above a number of cases are unchecked and unreported due the obvious
reason of social taboos. Flevia Agnes Mumbai based reputed lawyer once put it -
" What you see is just the tip of the iceberg. But how massive is the iceberg, if you
see, you would be shocked.''
One big problem with society's attitude is - it is never united at such unfortunate incidents. It is always divided. One section is that who carries all the sympathy for the victim & howls against the accused so much and for so long that the victim feels more victimized socially. While the another section sensing the every wrong bit of the evil act, realises the delicate situation of the victim but still withdraws its support to her, nurses a feeling of rejection and discards her indirectly at every front. This approach makes the victim more vulnerable. As I said, legal system has its own drawbacks. Hence it gets difficult for the sufferer to come out of the horrid experience, it keeps haunting her more whenever anyone sympathise with her or vice versa. It gets difficult for the victim to breathe freely, shame and guilt keep gnawing her. Her efforts for a fresh start fizzle out every time. People do have all the softness towards the victim, but somehow they are not generous enough to give her due love and respect onwards, except leaving a handful of them. Rejection in their eyes, disrespect in their gestures pricks the victim deeply.
So in view of this, many victims and their families choose to seal their mouth and help the victim to survive and come out of the trauma on their own to rebuild her life. Why the victim be treated like ''a thing of pity'' because of a dirty man's
dirty act. She should have all the opportunities to flourish and live in a healthy
and normal surroundings. She should be taught to take the unfortunate incident as the passing bad phase of life, and not get stuck to that, burying that forever must go ahead bravely.
Lots of such incidents and querries there upon, can be quoted but the problem can not be solved by these discussions, logics and then counter logics unless and untill our judiciary system gets more strong and quick to settle such cases once for all. No leniency, no littlest softness for the accused when he plays meek and humble and wrongly tries to prove himself innocent or shows repentance and pleads to minimize his punishment. Did he spare the victim when she was being abused brutally and repeatedly by the accused - one should not forget this.
The most regrettable thing is that Indian law does not regard 'incest' as a crime.If
the accused Kishore Chauhan , is convicted, it will be under section 376 of Indian Penal Code that covers rape, not incest and the minimum punishment for such a crime is hardly 10 years imprisonment. An Indian father can not be convicted for incest. It is a shame how Indian law deals with such a tormentor. While in developed countries incest is illegal. It is condemned as a heinous crime. After years of hard efforts by NGOs and Social Activists, developed countries have legalized harsh punishment for incest. Against this serious offence Women's Rights Activist and Children's Rights Activists have demanded since long a strong law to convict the 'protector turned predator' but Indian law instead of taking solid step in this regard, has been defining it as 'not punishable offence'. Absence of law for incest indirectly allows it to continue. Incest is not a aberration, but our legal system is treating it like a moral and mental slip that's why it is taking it casually. Why Indian law makers are reluctant to address this serious issue ? Or it is the reflection of the Indianised sentiment that incest doesn't exist ??????
So, should the homes be considered no more sweet and secure place to live in ?
Of course it has been converted into a deserted cave where childhood is strangulated cruelly in perversion. This sex vortex is unending. It will stop only when our judicial system resolves to put a full real hard stop at it by enforcing a harsh legal punishment for the offender.